Bibliography

A work in progress, by Valerie White, Lewis & Clark College ombudsperson

Please note: A lot of the categories overlap, so look through several categories, and be sure to check out the “Miscellaneous” section. Some of these books are in the Ombuds Office for you to explore.

 What I’m reading lately:

The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative (2017) (Miscellaneous)

Seven Thousand Ways to Listen (2012) (Self Awareness)

Profit from the Positive (2013) (Working Together)

 Active hope: How to Face the Mess We’re in Without Going Crazy (2012). (Self Awareness)

Anxious: Using the brain to understand and treat fear and anxiety (2015). (Self Awareness)

 

CHALLENGES AND PURPOSE

 

Chodron, P. (2010). Taking the leap: Freeing ourselves from old habits and fears.  Boston & London: Shambala.

I find Chodron’s work full of material that helps me reflect on questions that matter, and she provides practical strategies that are easy to use.  I’ve referred several to this book when they report feeling stuck and they have found it helpful as a gentle approach to examining dilemmas from multiple perspectives, and figuring out what might come next.

Cori, J.L. (2008).  Healing from trauma: A survivor’s guide to understanding your symptoms and reclaiming your life.  New York: Marlowe & Co.

Cori explains what trauma is in very clear terms, and provides lots of helpful information about how to move past it.  If you need some ideas about possible actions to take or to pass along to someone about whom you care, give this book a look.

Diets, B. (2009). Life after loss: A practical guide to renewing your life after experiencing major loss.  New York: Da Capo Press. 

Lots of us face loss over a period of time.  Even change can present significant challenges because of the loss that often accompanies it.  This book has been helpful to some of the Ombuds Office visitors, in addition to other options such as participating in a grief group.  It’s pretty straightforward, such as identifying four key elements of grief, or helping a person prepare for a pending loss.  As important as anything in the group is the encouragement to find others with whom you can talk about what’s happening.

Frankl, V.E. (1984). Man’s search for meaning. New York: Washington Square Press.

A classic.

Hallowell, E.M. & Ratey, J.J. (2010).  Answers to distraction. New York: Anchor Books.

Written by the authors of the popular book about dealing with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Driven to Distraction, this book provides a well of material of easy-to-grasp answers to questions about the challenges faced when this challenge is present in someone’s life.

Herman, J. (1997).  Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror.  New York: Basic Books.

Hicks, D. (2011). Dignity: The essential role it plays in resolving conflict. New Haven: University Press.  

There are times you know there’s more to a conflict than what’s evident of the surface.  Hicks defines dignity and other related concepts, explores some of our hard wiring for how we pay attention to dignity, and gives some good guidance about how to attend to dignity maintenance and repair dignity violations.   

Kornfield, J. (1993). A path with heart: A guide through the perils and promises of spiritual life. New York: Bantam Books.

Nakone, L. (2005). Organizing for your Brain Type. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin.

Um, you know who you are—sometimes it can feel as though the part of your brain that knows how to organize things for subsequent retrieval is seriously broken or never really existed.  I found this book when trying to help a challenged visitor find an organizing approach that might actually provide a structure that was sustainable. This book was just what the person needed because one of the four organization styes actually suited them, and they stuck with it.  

Palmer, P.J. (2000). Let your life speak: Listening for the voice of vocation. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

The first line in Palmer’s book is a quote from William Stafford’s poem, Ask Me: “Ask me whether what I have done is my life.” This is a short book many have found helpful when considering what has heart and meaning in a life.

CHANGE

Bridges, W. (1991). Managing transitions: Making the most of change. Reading MA: Addison-Wesley Publishing Co.

Bridges defines transition as the internal response to external change. His three-step model is widely regarded as one of the very most effective ways to approach the impact of change on individuals and organizations.

Bridges, W. (2001). The way of transition: Embracing life’s most difficult moments. Cambridge, MA: De Capo Press.

Devane, T. and Holman, P. (eds.) (1999). The change handbook: Group methods for shaping the future. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

Lots of practical things you can try.

Land, G. and Jarman, B. (1993). Breakpoint and beyond: Mastering the future—today. New York: Harper Business.

Stacey, R.D. (1992). Managing the unknowable: Strategic boundaries between order and chaos. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

COMMUNICATION

Brady, M. (ed.) (2003). The wisdom of listening. Boston: Wisdom Publications.

There are several interesting chapters in here. One that is especially helpful in working with others is “The Healing Power of Being Deeply Heard” by Margaret Hopkins, who notes, “Learning to listen effectively takes skill and self-awareness.” (p. 51) If there were one thing to read about learning to really hear another person, this Hopkins chapter could be it. Another good chapter is by Christine Longaker, “Listening with Presence, Awareness, and Love.” Here’s a quote from it: “Fill any spaces of silence [in a conversation] between you with love, with silent permission for the other person to go on and to go deeper.”

Hamlin, S. (2006). How to talk so people listen: Connecting in today’s workplace. New York: Collins.

This is one of those easily-digested popular guides to communication in the workplace that’s been updated to give information about how communication happens in the 21st century. There’s helpful information about generational differences and their impact, though the author skims over the influence of other kinds of diversity. Much of the book is about how to get others to listen to you, and it’s not until p. 276 that you get useful pointers about listening. All that said, there are some helpful pointers to check out in this quick read.

Hicks, D. (2011). Dignity: The essential role it plays in resolving conflict. New Haven: University Press.  

There are times you know there’s more to a conflict than what’s evident of the surface.  Hicks defines dignity and other related concepts, explores some of our hard wiring for how we pay attention to dignity, and gives some good guidance about how to attend to dignity maintenance and repair dignity violations.  

Hoefling, T. (2003).  Working virtually: Managing people for successful virtual teams and organizations.   Sterling, VA: Stylus Publishing.

Lerner, H. (2001).  The Dance of connection: How to talk to someone when you’re mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, betrayed, or desperate. New York: Quill.

Lindahl, K. (2003). Practicing the sacred art of listening: A guide to enrich your relationships and kindle your spiritual life. Woodstock, VT: Skylight Paths Publishing.

Progoff, I. (1992). At a journal workshop: Writing to access the power of the unconscious and evoke creative ability. Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc.

Rosenberg, M.B. (2003). Nonviolent communication: A language of life. Encinitas CA: Puddle Dancer Press.  

Rosenberg’s well-known internationally for his method of helping folks talk about and work through conflict, Nonviolent Communication (NVC). By violence, he means words that can result in hurt feelings or pain.  Some groups call this method Compassionate Communication.  Whatever it’s called, it emphasizes the importance of connecting from the heart with compassion.  This communication method identifies four elements that must be present in talking through something difficult:  1) observation; 2) feelings; 3) needs; 4) requests.  While you may choose not to discuss the role of the heart, the method itself is straightforward, and he writes clearly enough that the concepts can be readily grasped and practiced.  It’s tried and true.  One section I found especially helpful was his conversation about the challenge of talking about feelings so it’s clear from your word choice you’re only speaking about yourself.  For example, when you say, ” I feel ignored,” that’s pointing out someone else’s behavior, which often isn’t helpful.  He has a list of words that fall in this category, and it’s interesting to think about how you might substitute other words such as “sad,” or “discouraged.”

Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (2000). Difficult conversations: How to discuss what matters most. New York: Penguin Books.

Sullivan, J.E. (2000). The good listener. Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press.

Tannen, D. (1990). You just don’t understand: Women and men in conversation. New York: Ballentine Books.

A classic that’s bound to get you talking.

CONFLICT

Bloch, J.P. (2005). Handling difficult people: Operator’s manual. Avon Ma: Adams Media.

How to deal with people he characterizes as the big bully, the brick wall, the temper tantrum type, and the constant complainer, for example.

Kochman, T. (1981). Black and White styles in conflict. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Glaser, Susan R. & Glaser, Peter A., with Matthew, Arlene (2006).  Be quiet be heard: The paradox of persuasion; Building trust through conflict. Eugene OR: Glaser & Associates, Inc.

Glaser and Glaser have provided a number of clear, simple, and useful steps to walk one through a variety of communication and conflict challenges.  They take a fairly light-handed approach to the serious subject, and somehow that makes it a little easier for some readers to keep reading about what can feel like difficult and complex material when the dilemma is staring one in the face.  I especially like the chapter on addressing undiscussables in their chapter, Who woke the dogs up? Raising delicate issues, for its straightforward approach and helpful ideas.

Lerner, H. (2001).  The Dance of connection: How to talk to someone when you’re mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, betrayed, or desperate. New York: Quill.

Namie, G. & Namie, R. (2003). The bully at work: What you can do to stop the hurt and reclaim your dignity on the job. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, Inc.

This book comes across on the strident side, but has some good tips on how to deal with a bully.

Oetzel, J.G. and Ting-Toomey, S. (eds.) (2006). The SAGE handbook of conflict communication: Integrating theory, research, and practice. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

The writing in this book can be dense, although it’s well-written. It’s on this resource list because there’s a lot of good information about conflict in here, particularly regarding the influence of cultural perspectives.

Raffel, L. (2008). I hate conflict! Seven steps to resolving differences with anyone in your life. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Rosen, Mark I. (1998).  Thank you for being such a pain: Spiritual guidance for dealing with difficult people.  New York: Three Rivers Press.

This book is a pretty quick read with some helpful tips to help the reader understand what may make someone complicated or just plain difficult to deal with.  He covers a lot of terrain when it comes to the possibilities related to the difficulty.  Fortunately, he provides several concrete actions to try.  If you read the book and figure out why he leaves the letter “f” out of some words (the one you’ll first notice is “di  cult”,  would you let me (Valerie) know?

Rosenberg, M.B. (2003). Nonviolent communication: A language of life. Encinitas CA: Puddle Dancer Press.  

Rosenberg’s well-known internationally for his method of helping folks talk about and work through conflict, Nonviolent Communication (NVC). By violence, he means words that can result in hurt feelings or pain.  Some groups call this method Compassionate Communication.  Whatever it’s called, it emphasizes the importance of connecting from the heart with compassion.  This communication method identifies four elements that must be present in talking through something difficult:  1) observation; 2) feelings; 3) needs; 4) requests.  While you may choose not to discuss the role of the heart, the method itself is straightforward, and he writes clearly enough that the concepts can be readily grasped and practiced.  It’s tried and true.  One section I found especially helpful was his conversation about the challenge of talking about feelings so it’s clear from your word choice you’re only speaking about yourself.  For example, when you say, ” I feel ignored,” that’s pointing out someone else’s behavior, which often isn’t helpful.  He has a list of words that fall in this category, and it’s interesting to think about how you might substitute other words such as “sad,” or “discouraged.”

Sutton, R.I. (2007). The no asshole rule: Builiding a civilized workplace and surviving one that isn’t.  New York: Business Plus.

Attention-grabbing title aside, this is a popular book because of what’s in it.  The visitor’s who’ve borrowed it have found it helpful.  Maybe you will too.  Not that awards are everything, but this won the 2007 Quill Book Awards—Business Book.

Twale, D.J. & DeLuca, B.M. (2008). Faculty incivility: The rise of the academic bully culture and what to do about it. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Seasoned ombuds staff in universities recommended this book as a cerebral approach to the challenges of incivility among faculty members. They say it’s helped some faculty members—and those who work with them—understand what’s happening, from a literature review perspective.

Ury, W. (1991). Getting past no: Negotiating with difficult people. New York: Bantam Books.

Ury’s work is internationally known and has worked in a wide variety of difficult situations. The main points in this book are easy to understand and use, so you are more likely to reach a “yes” that each of the people in a disagreement or conflict can support.

CULTURAL PERSPECTIVES

Banks, J.A. (1991). Teaching strategies for ethnic cultures (5th ed.). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

Banks, J.A. (1994). Multiethnic education: Theory and practice (3rd ed.). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

Bennett, M. (1993). “Intercultural sensitivity model.” In R.M. Paige (Ed.), Education for the intercultural experience (2nd ed.). Yarmouth ME: Intercultural Press.

Cultural differences and similarities matter. This model shows how they matter, and how you can develop to approach the differences effectively.

Collier, M.J. and Thomas, M. (1988). “Cultural identity: An interpretive perspective.” In Y.Y. Kim and W.B. Gudykunst (eds.), Theories in intercultural communication. (pp. 99-120). Newbury Park: Sage Publications.

Gannon, M.J. (1994). Understanding global cultures: Metaphorical journeys through 17 countries. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

Hall, E.T. (1981). Beyond culture. New York: Anchor Books.

This is a classic and contains some concepts that are central to working with others, such as how people relate to time and how they reason; the varying ways in which surroundings matter in cultural groups; and directness and indirectness in communication.

Huang, L.N. (1994). “An integrative view of identity formation: A model for Asian Americans.” In E.P. Sallett and D.R. Koslow, Race, ethnicity and self: Identity in multicultural perspective. Washington, DC: NMCI Publication.

You can use the model this chapter explores when you’re trying to figure out the relevance of ethnicity and race with someone from any of those groups (not just Asian Americans), and shows how other factors such as gender and profession can matter more in certain situations.

Martin, J. and Nakayama, T.K. (1997). Intercultural communication in contexts. Mountain View, CA: Mayfield Publishing Co.

Orbe, M.P. and Harris, T.M. (2001). Interracial communication: Theory into practice. Stamford, CN: Wadsworth/Thomson Learning.

Pedersen, P.B. and Ivey, A. (1993). Culture-centered counseling and interviewing skills; A practical guide. Westport: Praeger.

Peterson, B. (2004).  Cultural Intelligence: A guide to working with people from other countries. Yarmouth, Maine: Intercultural Press, Inc.

A pretty good basic book about intercultural communication in general, and one of its newest theory areas: Cultural Intelligence, or CI.  It’s research driven and considers four key aspects that influence a person’s intercultural competence.  It’s not a bad place to start if you’re interested in understanding what CI is all about.

Ponterotto, J.G. and Pedersen, P.B. (1993). Preventing prejudice: A guide for counselors and educators. Newbury Park: Sage Publications.

Samovar and Porter (eds.). (all editions). Intercultural communication: A reader. Belmont, CA: Thomson/Wadsworth.

An excellent resource, though favorite articles get dropped for new edition articles so you have to look at several editions. We have editions 6-11 in the Ombuds Office.

Stewart, E.C. and Bennett, M.J. (1991). American cultural patterns: A cross-cultural perspective. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press.

Lots of helpful chapters here.

Ting-Toomey, S. and Korzenny, F. (eds.). Cross-cultural interpersonal communication.

This collection of chapters focuses on research and theory, and there are some interesting pieces that focus on how culture may affect various aspects of intercultural communication and relationships.

Trickett, E.J., Watts, R.J., and Birman, D. (eds.) (1994). Human diversity: perspectives on people in context. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers.

There is a particularly good chapter here on bicultural orientation.

FORGIVENESS

Borris-Dunchunstang, E.R. (2006). Finding forgiveness: A 7-step program for letting go of anger and bitterness. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Written by a past president of the Society for the Study of Peace, Conflict, and Violence (American Psychological Association), this book is infused with an Eastern philosophy and spiritual perspective. There are several helpful sections, addressing topics such as feeling unfairly treated, justice through forgiveness, and the relationship between forgiveness and inner healing. The author clarifies that forgiving doesn’t mean condoning, pardoning, or reconciling. It does require learning more about oneself. There are lots of step-by-step questionnaires to help you work through the author’s steps to forgiveness.

Luskin, F. (2002). Forgive for good: A proven prescription for health and happiness. New York: HarperOne.

To consider and choose to forgive can be tough, for a variety of reasons. Many of the recent books on the subject emphasize the importance of forgiveness to oneself, rather than a focus on the other person. This book is written from this perspective, and includes research to back up the points. It’s an easy read, with lots of powerful stories to illustrate various aspects of forgiveness.

GOAL-SETTING AND THINKING ABOUT NEXT STEPS

Beck, Martha (2001).  Finding your own North Star: Claiming the life you were meant to live.  New York: Three Rivers Press.

Now regarded a classic in helping the reader navigate through the waters of “what’s next?”

 Cameron, J. (2006). Finding water: The art of perseverance. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin.

Julia Cameron is the gold standard when it comes to developing one’s creativity. Here she explores how to move through those times when things seem to dry up. Her suggestions about various ways to persevere apply to much more than the creative process, so we include and use this book as a resource in the Ombuds Office.

Gross, R. (1991). Peak learning: How to create your own lifelong education program for personal enjoyment and professional services. Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc.

Kelm, J.B. (2005). Appreciative living: The principles of Appreciative Inquiry in personal life. Wake Forest, NC: Venet Publishers.

What is your goal? What’s worked in the past? How can you use what’s worked before to get you where you want to go? That’s the approach this author takes.

Klauser, H.A. (2000). Write it down, make it happen: Knowing what you want—and getting it! New York: Touchstone.

It’s hard to avoid becoming a believer after you read all the good examples and stories about what happens when you write down your goals and dreams.

Levoy, G. (1997). Callings: Finding and following an authentic life.  New York: Three Rivers Press.  Who am I?  What am I doing?  What do I want to do?  This is a classic and can be used to help you sort through some of the more challenging questions we face about careers, callings, and longing.

LOSS

Ashenburg, Katherine (2002).  The mourner’s dance: What we do when people die. New York:  North Point Press.

It can feel next to impossible to be ready when death strikes close to home.  Many of written of the challenges of our time, and it can include an absence of personally meaningful actions, approaches, and ritual, to help in the face of such loss.  You may find something here that helps with your journey through grief.

Ginn, C.W. (1994).  Voices of loss.  Gainesville FL: Center of Applications of Psychological Type, Inc.

Think Myers-Briggs style differences and how they relate to the way in which an individual experiences loss.  That’s what you’ll read about in this slim volume.

RELATIONSHIPS

Welwood, J. (1990). Journey of the heart: Intimate relationship and the path of love. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

This book focuses on personal relationships but I think there’s material in here that might help you at work too.

MISCELLANEOUS

Seligman, M.E.P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. New York: Atria Paperback.

Seligman is a seminal thinking in advancing positive psychology theory, which he characterizes as exploring well-being theory.  He regards the marker of well-being as flourishing, and this book is a clear consideration of what that entails.  

SELF AWARENESS

Bennett-Goleman, T. (2001). Emotional alchemy: How the mind can heal the heart. New York: Three Rivers Press.

Brookfield, S.D. (1987). Developing critical thinkers: Challenging adults to explore alternative ways of thinking and acting. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers.

Boyatzis, R. and McKee, A. (2005). Resonant Leadership: Renewing yourself and connecting with others through mindfulness, hope, and compassion. Boston: Harvard University Press.

Catford, L. and Ray, M. (1991). The path of the everyday hero: Drawing on the power of myth to meet life’s most important challenges. Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc.

Covey, S.R. (2004). The 8th habit: From effectiveness to greatness. New York: Free Press.

Covey emphasizes the importance of finding your voice, and helping others find theirs.

Ginn, C.W. (1994). Voices of loss. Gainesville, FL: Center for Applications of Psychological Type.

People have different styles of relating to the world, and one of the ways of understanding those differences is with the Myers-Briggs. Even if you haven’t used this before, you probably know yourself well enough to use this book to explore how grief affects you and those you’re around.

Glassman, B. and Fields, R. (1996). Instructions to the cook: A Zen master’s lessons in living a life that matters. New York: Bell Tower.

Golden, R.R. (1996). Swallowed by a snake: The gift of the masculine side of healing. Kensington: Golden Healing Publishing.

People deal with grief very individually. According to the author, many men work through grief using physical activity, and this book explores that.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam Books.

Goleman, D. (1998). Working with Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam Books.

There’s a lot of research that shows your awareness and ability to work well with your emotions—and those of your coworkers—are crucial in working and living effectively with others. This book has a wealth of information about to approach this.

Goleman, D. (2003). Destructive emotions: How can we overcome them? A scientific dialogue with the Dalai Lama. New York: Bantam Books.

Goleman, D. (2006). Social Intelligence: The new science of human relationships. New York: Bantam Books.

Goleman, D., Boyatzis, R. and McKee, A. (2002). Primal leadership: Realizing the power of Emotional Intelligence. Boston: Harvard University Press.

Johansson, F. (2004). The Medici effect: Breakthrough insights at the intersection of ideas, concepts and cultures. Boston: Harvard University Press.

Learning to see things from multiple perspectives may be the most critical capacity to acquire and use in increasingly complex times. Beyond the usefulness of examining issues from various relevant cultural perspectives, this skill contributes to creative and innovative behavior. This book explores the benefits when people and ideas from multiple fields and cultures come together.

Keirsey, D. and Bates, M. (1984). Please understand me: Character and temperament types. Del Mar, CA: Prometheus Nemesis Book Co.

You can take an abbreviated form of the Myers-Briggs style inventory to help you get a sense of how you approach the world.

Ledoux, J. (2015). Anxious: Using the brain to understand and treat fear and anxiety. New York: Viking.

Levoy, G. (1997). Callings: Finding and following an authentic life.  New York: Three Rivers Press. Who am I?  What am I doing?  What do I want to do?  This is a classic and can be used to help you sort through some of the more challenging questions we face about careers, callings, and longing.

Macy, J. & Johnstone C. (2012). Active hope: How to face the mess we’re in without going crazy. Novato, CA: New World Library.

I was in a workshop with Macy after knowing about her work for years, and I think this book captures her recent thinking about how to stay fully present as we struggle with and through the conditions of our precious world.  She’s a seminal systems thinker, and this book is pretty straightforward and includes a lot of good ideas that can be put into practice on an individual level.

Markova, D. (2008). Wide open: On living with passion and purpose. Berkeley, CA: Conari Press. Who am I?  What am I doing?  What do I want to do?  This is a classic and can be used to help you sort through some of the more challenging questions we face about careers, callings, and longing.

Markova, D. (1994). No enemies within: A creative process for discovering what’s right about what’s wrong. Berkeley, CA: Conari Press.

McKay, M. (2005). The self-esteem guided journal: A 10-week program. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications.

McKay, M. & Fanning, P. (2000).  Self-esteem: A proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, improving, and maintaining your self-esteem (3rd ed.). Oakland: New Harbinger Publications. Who am I?  What am I doing?  What do I want to do?  This is a classic and can be used to help you sort through some of the more challenging questions we face about careers, callings, and longing.

Nepo, M. (2012). Seven thousand ways to listen: Staying close to what is sacred.  New York: Atria.

Ok, this is one of those I just couldn’t put down and I find I keep returning to it.  It’s accessible, thoughtful, and encourages the reader to slow down to take in some important reflections.  It isn’t necessarily about the sacred with a capital “S” (in case you’re worried about that).

Palmer, P.J. (1998). The courage to teach: Exploring the inner landscape of a teacher’s life. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

People in numerous fields have discovered the usefulness of Palmer’s approach to self-reflection in service of personal and professional growth.

Palmer, P.J. (2004). A hidden wholeness: The journey toward an undivided life. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Seligman, M.E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. New York: Free Press.

There are lots of references to current scientific findings about the tangible importance of happiness and a positive orientation. Seligman is one of the seminal figures of this developing field.

Schiraldi, G.R. (2001). The self-esteem workbook. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications.

Vaill, P.B. (1996). Learning as a way of being: Strategies for survival in a world of permanent white water. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Williams, R. and Williams, V. (1993). Anger kills: Seventeen strategies for controlling the hostility that can harm your health. New York: HarperPerennial.

Zweig, C. and Abrams, J. (eds.) (1991). Meeting the shadow: The hidden power of the dark side of human nature. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam.

Zweig, C. and Wolf, S. (1997). Romancing the shadow: A guide to soul work for a vital, authentic life. New York: Ballantine Wellspring.

WORKING TOGETHER

Gibb, J.R. (1978). Trust: A new view of personal and organizational development. Los Angeles: Guild of Tutors Press, International College.

A classic that’s worth the search. Think about how much trust matters when you’re tackling something difficult with another person. Jack Gibb has good ideas about how to develop trust with others.

Greenberg, M. & Maymin, S. (2013). Profit from the positive: Proven leadership strategies to boost productivity and transform your business. New York: McGraw Hill.

Ok, you ask—why should you care about something that explicitly gears itself to considerations of productivity and business?  I know.  I include it here as its center is positive psychology theory and the benefits of a positive outlook.  Business books, especially those about leadership, tend to have some good practical tips, so you might give this book a spin.

Kahane, A. (2004). Solving tough problems: An open way of talking, listening, and creating new realities. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

Tough problems are complex ones, and Kahane has three ways of classifying them: dynamic complexity, generative complexity, and social complexity. To tackle them he recommends open talking and listening; with the latter, you listen to your own internal messages, in addition to deeply listening to others. There are several interesting stories he uses to illustrate his points.

Katzenback, J.R. and Smith, D.K. (1993). The wisdom of teams: Creating the high-performance organization. Boston: Harvard Business School Press.

LaFasto, F. and Larson, C. (2001). When teams work best: 6000 team members and leaders tell what it takes to succeed. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

There are some really good examples that help you remember the points the authors think matter.

Peck, M.S. (1987). The different drum: Community making and peace. New York: Simon and Schuster.

A classic, this is one of the best on working with others. According to Peck, in true community, “human differences are celebrated as gifts.”p.62 His four-stage model to attain true community is a useful one when considering how to become a team. Conflict and chaos are integral steps on the way.

Senge, P.M. (2000). T he fifth discipline: The art and practice of the learning organization. New York: Doubleday Currancy.

Tamm, J.W. and Luyet, R.J. (2004). Radical collaboration: Five essential skills to overcome defensiveness and build successful relationships. New York: Collins.

The authors have written a book that’s easy to read and understand, and they’ve included useful information you can readily implement. They place emphasis on the importance of self-awareness in working effectively with others.